Solution to Reduce Gang Violence?

There is a new trend among the Los Angeles gang culture. In order to achieve the ultimate machismo, Nazario Gonzalez decided to strengthen his testicles by plating them with gold. The desire to achieve “Pelotas de oro” comes from the James Bond spoof Goldmember”.

gold testicles

A Safer Way

Nazario first painted his testicles with lead-based paint to make sure they would conduct electricity better and proceeded to use a gold plating apparatus stolen from an automotive shop. The MS-13 gang member dies as a result of

Dr. Joseffson, a physician at the Los Angeles Community Hospital, was quoted as saying “This is the third case this year, but we have had many occurrences in hospitals in the region these past years. It seems to be a growing trend within the gang member community. I have no idea where this idea comes from but plating one’s own genitals will only ultimately end in serious medical complications or even death, as we have seen in this case.”

I really don’t know if this report is true as browsing Link Beef has some news-of-the-weird type articles, but this trend grows, it could reduce gang violence through attrition.

After all, ancient cultures painted their bodies with gold dust, so why not add modern electrolysis equipment to make a real thick plating of gold?

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